Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace
Ayelet Waldman
While at the library, this book caught my eye and I had to read it! Being a new mother myself I enjoy reading light material that is relevant to my situation.
A Quick Synopsis:
Bad Mother is written from the author’s perspective of being a mother and trying to fit into the “Good Mother” category, but nevertheless, failing depending on who’s standards you are trying to uphold. Ayelet Waldman chronicles her own life as a mother and really delves into the nitty-gritty, the unspeakable, the truth about motherhood that few feel comfortable discussing or even admitting. She speaks on topics that only mothers can understand, covering everything from the “Bad Mother Police” to “Competitive Parenting.”
My Two Cents
What a relief! Once I opened Bad Mother I could not put it down; I was completely engrossed in her outlook on motherhood. Ayelet Waldman speaks honestly and openly about motherhood and all the critical judgements that women and the public in general make about each other. A lot of the topics and feelings discussed would make the “Perfect Mother” uncomfortable because they would see themselves reflected in the pages. I saw myself all through the book and it was comforting knowing that I am not the only one with these feelings. Ayelet Waldman really touches on some uncomfortable situations and along with laughing at some material, I found myself sobbing through certain chapters. I have different views, but I got it. She’s been slammed in the media for her views, but I say keep going! A breath of fresh air for all parents.
I love how she describes the double standards involving parenting. If you feed your kid organic you’re draining their college fund, if you don’t feed them organic you’re ruining their lives. We’ve all encountered the uppity parents, the ones that love to broadcast their perfect parenting styles through backhanded suggestions or just outright “You’re doing it wrong!”
Here are a few instances of where we were caught by the “Bad Mother” police or judgemental comments reflecting towards our “wrong way” of parenting.
Situation One:
“Can your son have a piece of orange?”
“Is it organic?”
“I’m not sure.”
“No thanks.”
-Parent encountered at a park in Marin County. I understand her values and what have yous, but come on a slice of a possibly unorganic orange is not going to contaminate your precious child. By the way this was said in the most pretentious manner possible.
Situation Two:
“You shouldn’t take away your child’s pacifier because they are in the oral stage until they are three and they might become a smoker if they are not ready.”
- Really? You expect me to listen to backwards ass Freud on this manner? By the way, myself and all my siblings have had our pacifiers ripped from our lives before three and guess what? None of us are smokers! On another note, my son is doing great without it and actually sleeps better at night now!
My own “Bad Parenting” moment…
My son slept in a crib next to our bed until he was six months old!
Bad parenting from an attachment parenting fanatic: “He’s in is own room!?” “Babies should really co-sleep with parents; it gives them a better sense of security.” Fine and dandy for those who enjoy feet in their backs and interrupted sleep for months, even years on end!
Bad parenting from the others: “Can’t believe you lasted that long!” “Babies need their own space” “Wow! Six months, my child was in their own room at 4 weeks and sleeping through the night!”
Whatever.
Have you ever had a bad parenting moment? Or been judged on your parenting skills?
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